Curly

Carl Richard Stemen passed away last month, and it’s taken me a month to find the will to post this. Many people referred to him as Dick, but I always called him Mr. Stemen (although I sometimes called him “Curly” when he was not around). After I turned 40, I started to greet people by his or her first name. I stopped greeting people with “Mister” or “Misses” except Mr. Stemen. I respected him that much.

We had plans, Curly and I. We would have lunch at the care facility where he and his wife lived. He would ask me about my upcoming comic books, and I would ask him about his barbershop quartet. We would call each other after “Chuck” and discuss that night’s episode. And we would attend Dodger games, not to fund the owner’s tight cash flow or his divorce case, but to support the team.

A heart attack on January 28th took away those plans.

Upon word of his passing, accolades for Mr. Stemen began to circulate in e-mails from members of the church that we attend, Shepherd of The Valley Presbyterian Church in Hacienda Heights, CA. I e-mailed a tribute, since Curly’s arrangements would be a family affair. I believed that the congregation would like me to say something about a unique relationship that was somewhere between father-son and best friends.

On the day of Mr. Stemen’s memorial service, my tiny church overflowed with people who wished to pay their respects. Many spoke up during the service. I was tempted myself, but I knew I would break down and not be able to convey how much he meant to me. Yet the pastor knew. She started to read for the mourners some of the e-mails that were sent out. And finally she read mine:

“I don't know why Mr. Stemen ever took a liking to me, but his generosity is something I will always cherish. He was genuinely interested in my activities, and we broke bread often over the 34 years I have known him: lunches at Morningside, refreshments at SOTV and Dodger Dogs at Dodger Stadium. He had a wonderful capacity to get along with everyone, being a person who can state an opinion yet be a bridge between people whenever there was disagreement. I still try to emulate his example…”

 I still do, whether it is serving on session, preparing tax forms or working on my next comic project!