Hola! A Page 23 Do-Over

It’s hard to admit that a comic book could be delayed because of one page, but that almost happened with Pretty Vacant: Vegas Showcase simply because it didn't "flow" right!  That doesn't mean I didn't like the artwork that my penciller Oscar gave me. I like Oscar's art very much, but sometimes the art clashes with the storytelling.

In my original layouts, Page 22 sets up a gunman intent on assassinating an unsuspecting Barnaby who is driving his car on a coastal highway. The would-be assassin takes careful aim, but before the trigger is pulled he is beaned by a baseball. The hired gun picks up the baseball, reads the inscription (Game Over, Gigi) and with the page turn…

KRAK!

The first panel of Page 23 shows Gigi saving her friend by overpowering the gunman. The delay almost occurred because I felt that the original pencils were underwhelming:

I had two problems.  First, the flow is off. A panel on a page should flow directly into the next panel.  Normal American comics read top left to bottom right.  In the orginal pencilled page the reader has to go top left to middle right. I would have been able to fix that with a word balloon if it weren't for the second snag: the payoff wasn't exciting enough for me! A comic page is like any other artwork. The reader should see the images and read the words in a way to make him or her feel more involved.

I tweaked the page for Comic-Con, but because there are other comic book shows on the horizon, I felt the need to do a “director’s cut” on Page 23. The first thing I did was to reorganize the panels. Then I asked Oscar to redraw panel one, and was surprised to how quickly he agreed after I stated why it should be done.  I was even more surprised by how much I like the revision!

When I got the redrawn panel, I did an old-fashioned cut-and-paste job to fit it onto the page. The revised Page 23 puts the reader much closer to the action, and the panels flow much smoother! The great Neal Adams once told me that any breakdown in flow causes a disruption in the page. The key is to understand how the eye works when reading a comic page, and control the eye with your panels!

The extra effort was worth it.  Hasta luego!